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2023-05-29 I can't completely deny the possibility of "pointing the rifle's muzzle to your head." [長年日記]

Recently I have been in trouble with insomnia.

I can't sleep until midnight and wake up early in the morning -- but I still try to maintain enough strength to work during the day with a combination of autonomic nerve training and stabilizers.

People not associated with insomnia are quite 'happy with their lives' by themselves, but they will probably go their whole lives without realizing it.

I am very jealous.

I can say 'congratulations' to you on your 'happiness.'

However, if you say, 'Can't sleep? If you move your body, you'll sleep easier, right?' like such a brain-dead, ignorant, and low-skilled statement -- I never forgive you.

To put it bluntly, I want to kill you.

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I don't mind if people talk about me behind my back "I am 'alone'" (which is true, to begin with).

Rather, I will take pride in my 'solitary way of life'.

However, if you say, 'Can't sleep? If you move your body, you'll sleep easier, right?'

in addition, if my reasoning is not in its normal state,

I can't completely deny the possibility of "pointing the rifle's muzzle to your head."