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2023-03-28 "I make and have no friends," "give up on lovers, and take marriage out of the scope of their lives" [長年日記]

I have many " drawbacks", but equally as many " weaknesses".

One of them is

"I can't stand silence."

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When I see lovers eating in silence on a date, I think about many things.

(1) They are so much in tune with each other that there is not even a need for conversation.

(2) They share the policy that meals are for enjoying food and not for conversation.

(3) They have already run out of things to talk about, having talked too much in the dating process.

(4) They can't come up with a suitable story.

I have no idea if it is one of these or something else I can't think of.

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I wrote in this diary before, "-- Silence is violence in a presentation. Do you understand that?"

Likewise, to me, the silence in the middle of a date also feels like violence. so I think

"Don't be violent with your lover you're on a date with"

However, apparently, "topic" seems to be a major issue in human history, beyond the recent younger generations.

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You can Google "dating topics" to see how many people in the world are struggling with the topic itself (you'll get about 7.2 million hits).

And the worst case of "topic exhaustion" is "sexual harassment and para-harassment.

When you get stuck on a topic, it is "routine" to fall back on topics such as the other person's age, whether or not he/she has a girlfriend, where he/she is from, and what he/she does for a living.

Just as the exhaustion of food and energy causes wars, the exhaustion of topics causes harassment.

In my case, I usually try to avoid going in that direction by practicing to come up with stories (like this blog), but I am not sure if I am controlling it well.

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This, however, creates another problem.

"A case of a situation where Ebata speaks only"

It is a "1,000 knocks" situation, so to speak.

This, is a situation as bad as "silence".

Since conversation is communication, the number and duration of conversations, like a catch-all, must be equally divided.

In order to do this, the topics of conversation must be of sufficient quantity and content that the other party can expand on them with new material -- which is quite difficult.

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To sum up the situation,

"I don't attend drinking parties" or "I don't go on dates"

in addition,

"I make and have no friends," "give up on lovers, and take marriage out of the scope of their lives"

Sometimes I think this is a strategy that makes a lot of sense.