I suddenly remembered that decades ago, a junior (female) in my seminar said

"I don't think I'm like this. I think I can do more."

I remember my senior daughter was also saying something similar about two years ago.

Speaking of me,

"I've never thought that"

As such, I can assure you.

--- Excerpts from past columns ---

I have simply continued to carry out the mission I was given (a difficult and troublesome mission that was far beyond my capabilities), crying my eyes out.

To be more specific: "Damn! I'm not going to lose in a place like this!" --- It's not that kind of powerful, positive, hard work. "I want to go back to Japan as soon as possible! I can't wait to get it over with and go back to Japan!" --- It is the hard work of a loser.

===== Excerpt here =====

And now I have considered the cause of the problem.

I believe that firstly, 'I lack the ability to make dispassionate judgments about my skills and resources.

And then, without being able to make accurate predictive calculations, they start to do things, and later on they seem to have "terrible regrets and failures".

And second, I seem to have "no learning ability" to forget their "terrible regrets and failures" in a relatively short period of time.

And then I repeat similar regrets and failures.

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While looking out codes for two projects at work, lectures and report submissions and a huge pile of papers piled up, in front of me,

'I hope World War III breaks out and the world is destroyed.'

now I am quite serious about it.

This happens about two or three times each year.

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I hope that the rulers of Russia and North Korea are not 'gutless' like me.