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2022-02-08 "It was hard work, seriousness, and running as fast as I could, but I didn't think for one millimeter or one second that it was hard or that I didn't like it." [長年日記]

My father died before the outbreak of the Corona disaster.

My mother died just as the outbreak was coming under control and she was finally able to visit --- Now, under the raging Omicron stock, it is not reality.

I just happened to find this note a few minutes ago.

As I was looking at it, I noticed that this kind of slap in the face of corona disaster about my mother had suddenly disappeared.

-----

I did not feel any emotion or sentiment during or after my mother's funeral.

I was even thinking, "Maybe I'm broken somehow".

In fact, that's what I've been told by many people in my life.

But as I was reading these notes, I felt that I could finally talk to the deceased without feeling 'sad' or 'nostalgic'.

-----

"It was hard work, seriousness, and running as fast as I could, but I didn't think for one millimeter or one second that it was hard or that I didn't like it."

"They days were not bad at all"

I was able to mutter to my mother.