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2021-02-25 "You also shut up for a minute" [長年日記]

(Continuation from yesterday)

I want to change myself... I've never thought about that in my life.

# When I tell people about this, they seem to be quite taken aback.

There are two reasons for this.

The first reason is because it's "weird".

It seems to me that "I want to change myself" means "I want to exchange myself", which is the same as "I want to become someone else" --so I don't understand it and it's weird.

The second reason is that I believe that we cannot change ourselves in the first place.

I think it is as difficult as changing a material called "wood" to a material called "stone".

Well, it might be possible to change "wood" to "stone".

However, when I think about the energy spent on the conversion, I can't help but think it's irrational or a waste of time and money.

-----

So, back to the topic of "good" and "bad"...

Instead of "changing myself," I think it's better to think about "how to use (operate) myself better.

Probably, "how to utilize" will take less money and time, and it is definitely easier.

"If it were that easy to find a way to utilize myself, I wouldn't have all this trouble!"

I can understand the point of view, but I think the odds are better than the reckless challenge of "changing myself".

-----

Well, when it comes to this kind of talk, I think it sounds like "bragging from the top" from a guy who just happens to have his life in a good way.

Maybe so.

So I also think it is "polite" for "people who live with the feeling that something is going well" to keep quiet about it.

I sometimes feel that I must be silent too.

I make a lot of noise in my columns and blogs, but there are many things I keep quiet about.

-----

On the other hand--

When I see people abusing words like "I hate myself" and "I want to change myself" and acting like it's an "exemption" for their life not going well...

Yes, for example, when I listen to teen idol songs full of those kinds of lyrics.

"You also shut up for a minute"

That's what I want to say.