I wouldn't say I like drinking parties, and I finally found out why the other day.

-- because I have to be silent.

It's not that I don't have a topic. On the contrary, I don't think there was ever a moment when I said, 'I don't have a topic.

However, the key point is that 'not all topics are accepted by everyone.

("Islam," "Taliban," "Palestine," or something like that.)

However, the problem here is that both the boss and the subordinate are now younger than me.

I have a hard time with 'the air of care they have for me.

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I don't need to tell you now but I am a thorough me-ism.

This world is a means for me to live, nothing more.

I believe that companies and organizations are "tools."

"Contribution to the company? What's that good for?" I can say with certainty that I have continued to follow the same line of thinking.

What I think is 'amazing to me' is that my 'me-isms' did not waver one millimeter until I finally reached this age.

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But here is where the problem arises.

For example, suppose I said something like, "Work is just a way of life, and it's stupid to seek meaning in it," at a drinking party.

Now, when this happens, the younger bosses are naturally in trouble -- because they, as bosses, have to tell their subordinates (if they believe it or not) the exact opposite of that.

Younger subordinates are more troubled -- because they have to look out for their superiors and, simultaneously, cannot ignore Ebata.

So, what is the overall optimal solution in such a situation?

-- Ebata's continued silence

In all likelihood, there is no other solution.

I have a mountain of stories and little tidbits in my head, as well as an Ebata policy, but to keep quiet about this -- no joke, it's excruciating for me.

This is where the "drinking party = suffering" framework is completed.

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At drinking parties, I have to be attentive to all people, and all people have to be careful of me.

Moreover, I am now in ongoing sobriety, so there is no chance for me to say something unexpected when I am sober.

In addition, being forced to listen to the claims of a drunken person with a waking head is also painful.

When I see another stranger doing the 'misery boasting' I have done in previous drinking sessions, I am so embarrassed that I want to roll over, remembering the horror of my old life.

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I once asked a young engineer.

Ebata: "Can you guys say, 'Ebata-san, that's not true,' when I say, 'This is what I'm talking about'?"

Younger: "I can never say that. Even if I disagreed with you, I would just let it slide and say, 'Oh, I see.'

In other words -- that's how it is.