Today, I asked my wife, who said, "I'm going to a Book-Off," to buy me a used metal bat.

Not because I'm interested in "baseball" (how could I be?), but to repel trespassers.

There is a golf club in the umbrella stand at the entrance of our house that was given to me by my father-in-law, and I have always thought, 'This has a weak ability to fight back.

I thought about buying it on Amazon, but then I thought, why pay the list price for a "bat for beating people up"?

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'Ebata, what the hell are you thinking?' You may be thinking, "What in the world is Ebata thinking?" but the reason for this has already been described.

In addition, I am preparing several other means of fighting back. However, I'll spare you the details. Because it is against public order and morals.