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2022-01-14 "Soon, the days of this torture will begin for you, too. And no one can escape from it" [長年日記]

Today, my sister and I were working on a medical history tracking relay for my mother.

It was 10 years ago that my mother was admitted to a geriatric health care facility.

From there, I traced my mother's hospitalization history, visiting three different hospitals to find out more about her.

-Depressed skull fracture

-Depression

-Sinusoidal failure syndrome, pacemaker installation

-Insomnia

-Depressive cardiac insufficiency

-Cerebral infarction

-Expansion of gastrostomy

-Gallstones cholecystitis

-Femoral infarction sequelae

-Right elbow bruise

-Swallowing pneumonia

-Neurogenic bladder

-Exanthem subitum

-Pneumonia

-Chronic cardiac insufficiency additions

-Sinusoidal failure syndrome

-Swallowing pneumonia

-Death (January 10, 2022)

-----

This is the history of my mother's severe pain for the past ten years.

None of this falls under the current judicial "death with dignity" decision.

In the first place, my mother was not declared to die with dignity, so it is absolutely impossible.

After she stopped communicating with us, I had no idea what she was thinking.

-----

I would like to say one thing.

"Soon, the days of this torture will begin for you, too. And no one can escape from it"

In hindsight, it seems that my mother had two opportunities to stop this long torture from starting on her own.

One is "gastrostomy construction" and the other is "pacemaker installation.

These two things are the "wisdom" and at the same time the "curse" created by humanity.

Nevertheless, it was "my mother herself" who chose these two.

So - I don't need to worry about my mother anymore.

-----

But don't forget.

If you are unable to communicate, you will not be able to exercise your "right to choose death" at all (at least in the current judicial system).

This is an absolute fact.

The only person who can save you is yourself, and the opportunity is frighteningly difficult to grasp.