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2017-03-22 "I can not forgive myself" [長年日記]

(Continuation from yesterday)

The reason why I traveled in local place overseas was for my branding strategy, and unfortunately, it had no values for many people.

In addition, the reason I tried to keep in touch with my parents, was

When I was a high school student, I took a journey as a hitchhiker around Hokkaido Prefecture whit just 20,000 yen.

I caused trouble for not only my family but also relatives, so I had to regain trust earnestly. and more over there was a serious reason for my part.

When I went back to my country house during the college vacation and lounge in the town, my mother encountered an accident, was mortally injured, and struggled against death with being treated in an intensive care unit.

It is a time when mobile phones were still not popular as it is now, so I know well no one would blame me.

Still, fear and regret at that time still left me a deep unrecoverable wound in my heart, with intense pain like cutting off arms and legs while living.

So, if I were traveling in a foreign city to carefree, while familiar people were wandering around death, Maybe,、

"I can not forgive myself"

That's why I tried desperately trying to get in touch from a foreign village, where there was no phone.

Quiet tapestry.

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Let me go to the broad.

The old men's "when I was young..." is definitely reversing "I envy you".

However, I don't think that the old men's intention is "you should praise me more and honor me more, because I can come up to the present position without privileged circumstances like you"

Perhaps they don't have common "stories" to tell the young people, and what they can is to offer only such a topic, In other words, they are "poor guys".

However, the lack of their effort should be blamed.

Even though you were an old man, it must be important to make effort to get topics everyday, - Injury or death, artificial intelligence, diet, nuclear accident, Koran, eugenics, fertility treatment, etc.etc.

The topics might make them cold.

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In any case, you do not need to listen to the old man's story at a drinking party seriously.

If he is stunned, you stand on the toilet casually, and let you move to another seat.